Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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