I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You ruined the universe
Omg I joined a choir last night...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
