We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
