what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
