It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
