But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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