i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
