Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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