it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
