Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
