i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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