Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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