So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
