he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
