i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
