yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
