I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
