she looked like the before picture.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
