The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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