She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
