Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
