You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
