Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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