She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
