tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The adults are the big ones right?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
