well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
