there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
