I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
