So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
