I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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