I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
