her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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