Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
