I wannas sexs uuuuu
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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