Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
