I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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