the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize