we have officially lost it.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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