friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
