I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
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