He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
