Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
pray to the hookup gods
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
