He had one of those small greek statue penises
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
