You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
