I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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