my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
