he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
