why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
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