In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize