i was born a porn star she said
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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