mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize