So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
