Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Randomize
