come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
