pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
