I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Randomize
