whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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