I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
