I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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