There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Drunk is not a location!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
