Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
