"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
