So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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