happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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