Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
