I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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